Darren and Jinnie are a lovely young couple, decidedly (deliciously) of the young 'Fetish Goth' persuasion, and more relevantly perhaps for this particular event, they are of a somewhat 'eclectic' religious faith. 

Upon agreeing to perform their ceremony I discovered that Jinnie considered herself predominantly Christian with an open mindedness to paganism, whereas Darren found himself particularly attuned to the Spiritualist Church movement. I believe that primarily because of this (that particular 'umbrella' faith welcomes all others) and their own personally open minds, they had discovered a mutual ground upon which they could join in wedlock in their own eyes and before the eyes of their chosen God (or in our case, Gods & Goddesses). 

At first this appeared an incredibly daunting and indeed possibly impossible task, attempting to celebrate their union in a pagan ceremony which appeared in direct and fundamental contrast to Christianity; paganism being poly (or at least duo) theistic and the latter being definitively monotheistic. However, having spoken with them at length and having found them to both be of sincere intent and good heart, we managed between us to find a middle ground.

It appeared that their openess to the dual and even multiple aspects of a 'God' and 'Goddess' as we know them was a fundamental part of their wish to be handfasted. In truth they believed with all sincerity that we effectively worshipped the same thing, but whereas we prefer to view the many different aspects of various masculine and feminine pantheons, they view the different aspects in the one 'figure'. 

On this basis I took the decision to proceed, and we reached happy compromises. In particular we included both the wording of the Lord and Lady, the God and Goddess, with (where it was particularly important to them) the words 'your chosen God' inserted.  My ultimate logic was that I happen to have a particular Goddess to whom I have greatest allegiance, so why shouldn't they, and why should it not be a male representation too? 

It was all in all a beautiful ceremony, I felt that it went very well indeed and that all who were there were indeed pleased with our efforts, including the attending spirit throng and our own beloved deities.

East: (God) air, Athame, wand, bell & incense (rose)

Quite apart from this challenging beginning, the early part of the day itself was to prove an education and a trial by ordeal!
We were all up (myself and my family) bright and early, cleansing bathing, cooking the finger foods, preparing every last little detail. However it still managed to be 10am by the time we finally left and although we had not set a definite time I had said we'd arrive sometime between 10.30 and 11.30am. A few junctions down the motorway I yelped as if stung and mortified, turned the car around for a last minute dash home for my beloved and forgotten staff. Now I could have managed without the staff, but the wand which lives attached to it was really rather essential today! 

My eldest daughter Kirsty came to the rescue meeting us at a McDonalds part of the way to save time; except she had a slight altercation with a parking space which took a little while and several very deep breaths to establish that no harm was done to the other vehicle, and hers was merely a slight dent in the door (on the other's bumper). Heart in mouth with relief (she's only just started driving!), and finally, nearly an hour late we left, texting Jinnie that I was (as hinted the night previously) as usual running a little late.

Then we hit the traffic jam. Then another. Eventually, after an hour or so sat still in traffic I realised we were not going to make it anywhere near on time as the M42 was ground to a halt, so I texted and spoke with them again, reassuring them of my determination to get there! I felt at once disheartened and that I had disappointed them, but there was nought I could do but wait out the traffic jam until it finally let us loose in Birmingham. Sadly for us we were to take a couple of wrong turnings adding insult to injury we finally arrived, exhausted and in need of coffee and hugs, after 1.30pm!

Now lesser mortals might have decided that as a first foray into performing duties for their Goddess amd God such as this, it was being blatantly indicated to me to give up and go home! Each time I pondered this question I was graced with another sign to keep on; a Kestrel (a totem of mine), pair of magpies (old superstition and good portent), a lone bare tree, standing strong and silently alone in this concrete jungle. I felt and truly believe that I was being tested and pushed, hard. Just how far was I prepared to go? Just how much would I persevere to serve?  I smiled and accepted gracefully.

West: (Goddess), chalice, water (from the river at Darley Dale), rose oil, wine

For Jinnie and Darren I recommended that they:

• Bathe ritually, to come to the circle cleansed
• Cleanse the area (tidy up garden space or if weather poor, clear and hoover area)
• Wear appropriate clothing. My primary requirement was that they 'minimise' rather than accessorise because most people simply don't do skyclad nowadays, and in truth I was more interested in them being as unselfconscious as possible and comfortable. Bare foot if possible!
High Priestess: (Myself) 
• wear my ceremonial gown and cape, barefoot also 
• Bring a camera / take pictures
• Printed out and take words (pamphlets with pink ribbon at Jinnie's request)
• Home made wine for the ceremony (thanks Rachel!)
• A little vegan finger food (to help out) 
• A gift

Handfasting pamphlets at Jinnie's request (with pink ribbon!)
 

Privately, whilst the guests waited patiently inside keeping warm (there was a chill in the breeze despite the beautiful blue skies and bright sunshine) I centred and grounded myself, whilst attuning myself to the area they had chosen.
With Besom (broom) in hand I cleansed the ground beneath our feet, sweeping away all spiritual detritus and intrusions.
Lighting my sweetgrass and sage smudge stick I futher cleansed the air around us.
Sounding the singing bowl I let loose aural vibrations to further purify the air above us.

* * *
Dipping my Athame into the salt and then the water, I uttered the words
"I consecrate and cleanse this salt / water, that it be purified and fit to use in this my sacred circle. In the name of the Goddess and God, I consecrate this salt / water."

Besom (broom), sweetgrass & sage smudge stick for cleansing

Compass employed, I set out the altar facing South. The red altar cloth laid out, I opened my wooden altar box and patiently set out the items required as below. 

• EAST to the God and to Air - Athame, wand, incense/censer (rose incense), bell
• SOUTH to fire - red candle, staff, broom
• WEST to the Goddess and Water - chalice (gift glass), cauldron & wine
• NORTH to earth - salt, pentacle (I chose to wear instead), crystal (rose quartz)

Finally I draped the length of gold cord in place across the altar.

A modern witch's essential tools!

With staff to cast and salt to seal, I walked the perimeter of our space doesil (clockwise) to physically cast the circle, speaking the words

 “Here is the boundary of my circle, where naught but love shall enter in and where naught but love shall escape from within.”

With bell to sound and wand to call I invited our mortal guests to share with me the ritual of calling the quarters, whilst silently issuing my personal invite to the Goddess & God to join us also if they so chose.

Facing East
"I summon the forces of Air and invite its Guardians to watch over this ceremony. Blow out the old and bring in the new on your winds of change."
Facing South
"I summon the forces of Fire and invite its Guardians to watch over this ceremony. Burn away our regrets and shine your gentle rays upon us for growth."
Facing West
"I summon the forces of Water and invite its Guardians to watch over this ceremony. Cleanse us of all negativity and purify our thoughts."
Facing North
"I summon the forces of Earth and invite its Guardians to watch over this ceremony. Let your renewing strength bury all ills and open new paths before us."

Goddess & God, in this instance 
Juno, Goddess of marriage (peacock, sage & nutmeg)
& her husband Jupiter (oak) also known as Jove.

(Myself)
"We are here today to celebrate the love that Darren Ash and Jinnie Cracknell have for each other. We ask our chosen Gods for blessings on these proceedings.

At this time in this place we call upon the Spirits of the Land and the Mighty of the Skies, the Gods of our own distant past from lands far away and the Gods of our spiritual brethren to witness and rejoice with us in this moment as love is affirmed."

(Myself)
"Let us take a moment to honour the world around us, the place where we stand, the people who have brought us to this point in our lives, and we honour the spirits of the people that mean the most to us. You may like to offer a short silent prayer to your chosen God, Goddess, and divine spirits or to friends and family that mean a lot to you. Pause for silent reflection."

The Priestess (myself) motions the two people to be hand fasted to join me before and face the altar, then addresses them and their guests.

"You stand before this company and before your chosen God, seeking to become one with each other. You have entered into this union with open eyes and full hearts. If either of you, or anyone present here today, know of any reason why these vows should not be made, speak now.

You are aware of the reality of the vows you are about to speak to one another; of the responsibility that comes when a partnership is created. If there is any reason within your hearts that this ceremony should not continue at this time, I charge you to voice it now, for a partnership is based in honesty and trust, and only with those things can you successfully create one.

Swear you now, on this sacred blade, that there is no reason known to you that this union should not proceed."

Couple(together):  "I do so swear"

"Is there any reason known to you why this partnership should not be made?"

Couple(together):  "There is none"

"I remind you now of your commitment to one another and to the Rede. “Do as thou wilt, an it harm none.” Thus runs the Rede, and such should be considered in your new life together. There will be times of hardship, which you must endure, supporting one another with your love and strength and honesty. If you feel you are unable to fulfil your duties to your partner and your responsibility to uphold the Rede, now is the time to declare it."

"Do you, Jinnie, join us here of your own free will, to acknowledge before your God the bond that is shared between yourself and Darren?"

Jinnie: I do

"Do you, Darren, join us here of your own free will, to acknowledge before your God the bond that is shared between yourself and Jinnie?"

Darren: I do

Couple turn to face each other and join their left hands. Each now recites the vows they have prepared.

Darren:

I, Darren, do take you, Jinnie, as my partner and mate. Never will I seek to do you harm; always will I strive for your happiness and welfare. My love will be your treasure in the times when other riches fail to serve. My love will be your medicine in sickness as my hand tends your needs. My love will be your mirth when your heart is touched by sadness. My love will be your shining star through the darkest of nights. My love will be your banquet when life’s table seems empty. All this do I promise you with all the love that is in my heart. So mote it be.

My love, now do I make my promises to you. I vow, before our God and this company, to build with you a life and relationship that is healthy and loving. I promise to share laughter in times of joy and wonder; to share tears when sorrow touches our lives; to share my dreams and hopes, to encourage your dreams and to listen to your worries, that our love and minds may grow; to share honesty, compassion and understanding during times of frustration and anger; to care for you and to share all that I have, and all that I am, for as long as our love shall last.

Jinnie:

I, Jinnie, do take you, Darren, as my partner and mate. Never will I seek to do you harm; always will I strive for your happiness and welfare. My love will be your treasure in the times when other riches fail to serve. My love will be your medicine in sickness as my hand tends your needs. My love will be your mirth when your heart is touched by sadness. My love will be your shining star through the darkest of nights. My love will be your banquet when life’s table seems empty. All this do I promise you with all the love that is in my heart. So mote it be.

My love, now do I make my promises to you. I vow, before our God and this company, to build with you a life and relationship that is healthy and loving. I promise to share laughter in times of joy and wonder; to share tears when sorrow touches our lives; to share my dreams and hopes, to encourage your dreams and to listen to your worries, that our love and minds may grow; to share honesty, compassion and understanding during times of frustration and anger; to care for you and to share all that I have, and all that I am, for as long as love shall last.

"By Air, by Fire, by Water, and by Earth do I bless and consecrate this union, as a reminder that all in life is a cycle; all comes to pass and passes away and comes to pass again.

May the element of Air bless this union. Air is at the beginning of all things, the direction of East, and the dawning of a new day. May your lives be blessed with continuing renewal of love. (Waves incense smoke)

May the element of Fire bless this union. Fire is the passion within your love, the spark of love itself, the heat of anger, and the warmth of compassion. It is the direction of South, the heat of midday. May your lives be blessed with continual warmth. (Lifts candle)

May the element of Water bless this union. Water nourishes and replenishes us; the waters of emotion and harmony pour vitality into our lives. It is the direction of West, the afternoon and evening. May your lives be blessed with fulfilment and contentment. (Sprinkles water)

May the element of Earth bless this union. All life springs from the earth and returns to the earth, the direction of North, the night time. May your lives be blessed with strength and solidity. (Holds crystal)

North: Earth, salt and crystal (rose quartz)
Also rose candle (also red for Fire at South)

(Taking the joined left hands and the rope)

"Here before witnesses, Darren and Jinnie have sworn vows to each other. With this cord, I bind them to the vows that they each have made. (Wrap the cord loosely around both arms)  However this binding is not tied, so that neither is restricted by the other, and the binding is only enforced by both their wills."

Couple:(turning to face each other, in unison)
Heart to thee  Heart to thee
Soul to thee  Soul to thee
Body to thee  Body to thee
Forever and always  Forever and always
So mote it be  So mote it be

All:So mote it be

(Couple unbind their left arms)

Couple exchange the gifts they have brought for each other. Guests give couple good wishes and/or gifts.

Jinnie had made Darren a friendship bracelet consisting of beautiful colours which she had written a poignant poem about to share the meaning of each colour therein.

Darren gave Jinnie a beautiful necklet (collar) with the word 'slave' in diamante on the front.

We gifted them with a loving cup, engraved with their names and the date in celebration of their union, and for appropriate use in the ceremony. (Rachel's hand engraved glasses)

"You have witnessed the promises made by Darren and Jinnie one to another, and the exchange of the symbols of their union. They are now connected to experience together whatever life may bring them."

Jinnie had baked some beautiful honey bread for the occasion and along with home made wine (by Rachel, a deep red) complimented the ceremony beautifully.

"Lord and Lady, bless these cakes, that they may nourish our bodies and feed our souls." 
(Share cakes)
"Lord and Lady, bless this drink, that none may thirst within our sight."
(Share drink)

"Jumping the broom is a very ancient custom. The broom symbolizes the creation of a hearth and home together, sweeping clean all that has gone before and leaving clean for the future ahead."

I placed the broom on the earth and invited the couple to jump over it. They did, wonderfully, to our applause.

"Above you are the stars
Below you are the stones
As time passes, remember...
Like a star should your love burn brightly,
Like the earth should your love be firm.
Be free in giving of affection and of warmth.
Have no fear, and let not the ways or words
Of the unenlightened give you unease.
For your chosen God is with you,
Now and always!"

(Turning in turn to face East, South, West and North)

"Powers & Guardians of Air, I thank you for joining us and sharing your qualities with us during this blessed handfasting ceremony. With love and joy and thanks we bid you, Hail and Farewell.

Powers & Guardians of Fire, I thank you for joining us and sharing your qualities with us during this blessed handfasting ceremony. With love and joy and thanks we bid you, Hail and Farewell.

Powers & Guardians of Water, I thank you for joining us and sharing your qualities with us during this blessed handfasting ceremony. With love and joy and thanks we bid you, Hail and Farewell.

Powers & Guardians of Earth, I thank you for joining us and sharing your qualities with us during this blessed handfasting ceremony. With love and joy and thanks we bid you, Hail and Farewell."

(Opening the circle by walking widdershins ie anti-clockwise)

“I open the boundary of my circle where naught but love has entered in and where naught but love shall now go forth from within.”